Reason #37 Why the South is Bass-Ackwards

With the baseball playoffs starting, I turn my eyes to the TV set and my ears to the radio at all times. I may have slacked during the last month and a half of the season, but I'm back, baby. And with all the playoff games on ESPNRadio, I should have no problem if I need to run out for a quick errand, or if I want to listen to the game in the shower, right?

WRONG.

ESPNRadio in Nashville embodies everything that's wrong with the South. They first got on my bad side back in September when the Yanks swept the five-game series from Boston. The second game of that series was on Saturday, and before the Boston Massacre Redux, the AL East race was tight and it was a big game. Big enough to be on ESPNRadio... except in Nashville, where they were, I swear to God, airing a Big 10 College Football Preview show instead of Yanks-Sox in September! I may not be a college football expert, but I do know where the Big 10 teams are from, and it's NOT in Nashville, NOT in Tennessee, NOT in the South. So they forewent Yanks-Sox in order to preview a Midwestern college football conference.

And now. Now ESPNRadio has got all the playoff games. Guess how many ESPNRadio in Nashville is airing. ZERO. Instead, they've got their local slow-talking schlubs called "The Sports Guys," which include a guy named "Boots" and another guy they call "Coach." Instead of playoff baseball, the national pasttime, they're talking about what kind of shot Middle Tennessee State University has of "hanging in there" against Louisville this weekend. (Let me give you a hint, Boots: NONE.)

I wish that seven score and one year ago, our fathers had added a couple conditions to the South's surrender in the Civil War:
1) When radio eventually gets invented, no one named Boots is allowed to speak on-air.
2) When baseball playoff games are broadcast on national radio networks, all stations in that network have to air them unless they've got a legitimate reason.